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In a scandal that has shocked the sports world to the core, Andrew McCallem, the forward chaser for the Pittsburgh Maulers, admitted today in a press conference to "a history of blood doping."  Mr. McCallem has been fired from the team, and his 1997 Divison A Honorable Mention title has been stricken from him.  This announcement led some fans to cry out, "How can you tell?  You suck either way!"

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